Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
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