She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
