What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
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