I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Randomize
