Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
Randomize
