Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Randomize
