My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
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