my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
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