After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
I gave the guy a $20 tip on a $9 cab ride, he thought I was just bad at math but I was really just incredibly thankful to be alive and home.
I was like "don't worry, I'm a math major and you deserve the shit out of that 222% tip"
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
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