She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
