so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize
