I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
Randomize
