How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
It was confusing and full of hummus
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
