1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
he puts the penis in happiness.
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
