In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
Randomize
