can u get pink eye on your cock?
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
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