Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
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