I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
