Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
