I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Randomize
