yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
Alive.
So much puke
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
