so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
Randomize
