i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
Randomize
