I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Randomize
