There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
I don't want my vagina anymore.
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
