oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
