All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Randomize
