good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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