do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
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