I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
is it fun? or sober?
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
