I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
Randomize
