went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
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