Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
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