Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
Randomize
