Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
Randomize
