Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
