Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
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