It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
Randomize
