Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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