Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
Randomize
