lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
Randomize
