Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
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