dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
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