Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Randomize
