i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
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