nut hugger
I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
Randomize
