I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
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