Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
