is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
Randomize
