Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
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