I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
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